Here are four concrete ways of “acknowledging” and examples to illustrate the concept.
- Accept the other person’s words as they are
Accept the other person’s words as they are, without evaluation or judgment. It is not a question of whether or not what is being said is objective, but rather the fact that the person is speaking in the manner in which he or she is speaking. To do this, it is necessary to keep your mind in a neutral state.
- Respond appropriately to the other person’s words.
The opposite of “acknowledge” is “ignore. Ignoring makes the other person feel that he/she is not acknowledged. To show that you do not accept the other person’s words, you should respond appropriately to his or her words by nodding or giving a response.
The tone of voice, volume, facial expression, timing, choice of words themselves (e.g., “um-um,” “yes, yes,” “huh,” etc.), and “aizuchi” can either motivate or discourage a person to speak more.
(e.g.) “Oh, I see,” “I see,” “That’s interesting,” “Ho~ Amazing! “Mm-hm, so?” Is that possible? I’ve never heard of it before! “Oh, really?” That’s hilarious!” “Oh my gosh!” “You’re doing it!” “I’m surprised!” “That’s wonderful!” “That’s painful!”
- Repeating the same words
Repeating the same expression as the other person’s words shows that you acknowledge the other person’s existence and words. There are cases where you repeat the other person’s words as they are, and cases where you repeat only keywords. When repeating key words, especially if you repeat words that describe the other person’s feelings, the other person will feel more strongly that his/her feelings have been acknowledged (accepted).
The basic philosophy of coaching is “motivating people with a sense of security”. It is not about motivating the other person with candy or whips, but rather about creating a sense of security in the relationship between the two parties.
An effective way to give the other person a sense of security is to repeat the same words over and over again. This does not mean that you agree with the other person’s opinion. This does not mean that you agree with the other person’s opinion, but that you acknowledge that the other person is in such a state.
(e.g.) “I’m a little tired these days” → “You must be tired.”
”I feel lonely being alone” → “You must be lonely.”
- Communicate the third party’s words as they are.
In particular, if you tell them the words of someone they respect and admire, they will be more likely to accept them.
(e.g.) “Your presentation today was very well received by the director of XX department, whom you respect very much.”
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
