There are three types of “approvals” (what are “approval” skills and the “three types of approvals?”) . Existence Approval and Growth Approval are “acknowledging” and are used as “approval skills” in coaching. The other type of approval is “praise” and is not generally used as a coaching skill.
To understand the “approval” skill, let’s unpack what is the difference between “acknowledging” and “praising.
What is “acknowledgment”?
Acknowledgement” means acknowledging the existence of something, regardless of the outcome. There is no judgment of good or bad, so you can always behave in your own way with peace of mind. When the feeling of “I am fine as I am” arises, we become conscious of “living the life I want to live” without worrying about what others think of us.
This naturally leads to a concern for others. You will be able to “recognize” the other person as a total human being, without looking only at the “results.
What is “praise”?
Psychologist Adler says, “Do not praise. Many “praisers” do not recognize the “person being praised” as their equal, and this is because it is an act of “competent self” evaluating them from “above” without realizing it.
Of course, when a person receives praise when they want it, they are more than happy and their need for approval is satisfied. Adler’s words point out the existence of the possibility that the purpose behind the “praiser” is to control the other person to do what he or she wants.
It is sometimes said that “praise and develop,” but when the intention is to control the other person, it becomes a superior approach based on a hierarchical relationship, leading to a dependent relationship of “if I get praise, I will do it; if I don’t get praise, I won’t.” What is important is to “acknowledge” and “approve.
The important thing is to clearly understand the difference between “acknowledging” and “praising,” and to address Adler’s concerns.
Adler says it is important to encourage and to express gratitude for their contributions. If we are able to take on board Adler’s thoughts, then even a “compliment” will resonate with the other person as a “word of acknowledgement.
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
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