Rogers, a psychologist who greatly influenced the formation of the concept of coaching, lists “empathic understanding” as one of the three conditions required of counselors (Rogers’ three principles).
In coaching, it is important to add the “target” of “empathic” to the word “empathy,” and “understanding” based on this is the essence of empathy in coaching.
Empathy means “feeling together,” and it is not easy for people with different values to genuinely feel this way. In the first place, each person is a different individual, and the other person is not oneself. In other words, because they are not themselves, they think and feel differently. Therefore, it is obvious that we cannot say, “I feel the same as you.
In other words, the mindset of being cautious about saying, “I understand how you feel,” leads to empathetic understanding.
Empathic understanding means listening with humility, trying to understand the client’s words from the standard of the client’s heart, the other person’s heart. And it is not pity.
I can think of people who, in front of someone who is depressed, say without thinking, “You are thinking too much,” or “I think you should feel more at ease,” or “I don’t think you need to worry about that,” exactly as they say them without thinking.
When you imagine yourself in a depressed state, do you really feel that such words are encouraging to you? For some reason, many people seem to have learned to speak according to their own standards.
In other words, conversations between people who are imposing their own values but are unaware of it may be the normal conversational scene in the world.
Professional coaches in coaching are asking, “What is empathic understanding?” in coaching schools, and after much practice, is someone who can receive it not only with his/her head but also with his/her whole body.
A professional coach is someone who, when faced with a depressed person, says in a natural manner, “I’m sorry you’re having a hard time… I’ll listen to what you have to say if you want.
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
