We all have a self-concept of “I am a 〇〇 person,” which is formed based on our past experiences and experiences.
This self-concept includes a person’s own “self-esteem”. It also expresses how we like or dislike ourselves. For example, when joining a new group, one wants to participate as an idealized version of oneself that is effective, productive, humorous, appropriately competitive, supportive of others, and insightful.
What often happens, however, is that there is a disconnect between the self-concept we portray and the self we actually experience. When we encounter such a situation, many of us refuse to acknowledge this discrepancy, and instead, we may seek the cause elsewhere, attack the person as being at fault, or make up our own rationalizations, which pull us into our own shells.
We also often defend our self-concept by trying to become indifferent to the fact that it is none of our business. There seems to be a tendency to hide the discrepancy (the discrepancy between one’s self-created self-concept and one’s experienced self) from others and from oneself…a “self-protective tendency” due to the fear that if one’s self-concept is destroyed, one will lose oneself.
Let us illustrate this with the following figure.
The realm of “ I” is the realm where self-concept and experience are in agreement
In the realm of “II”, experience is distorted (rationalized) and accepted because it does not conform to the self-concept.
In the realm of “III”, experience is locked out of consciousness (repressed) because it is grossly inconsistent with the self-concept.
Wide “ I”area means that messages from within the person can be received as they are, without distortion, so that the person can smoothly coordinate with self and others. In this case, you can imagine that the person is spontaneous and cheerful, and that he or she is a willing and able contributor to the group.
コーチング情報局を運営する株式会社コーチビジネス研究所では、企業を対象としたコーチング研修、ビジネスパーソンを対象としたビジネスコーチング、個人の方を対象としたライフコーチングを提供しております。その他、コーチングを学びたい方のためのコーチングスクールの運営、経営者やビジネスリーダー向けにセミナーを開催しています。興味や関心がございましたら、お気軽にご相談・お問い合わせください。
This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
