It is said that “people are animals of assumption”. Even when we think we are looking at things objectively, we can see cultural backgrounds and the existence of different values in each person.
One of the skills of coaching is “feedback”.
The coach acts as a “mirror” for the other person and tells them “what he/she sees,” “what he/she hears,” and “what he/she feels”. It is not only the positive, but also the negative, that is delivered to the client using “I-messages”.
However, what we need to be careful of here is that the feedback itself is not assumed by the coach.
“Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” is a method that uses logic to explain what people “assume” and was founded by Albert Ellis, an American clinical psychologist. Let me explain.
People build their world according to how they “receive” (emotional world) the phenomena that are occurring (physical world).
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Suppose you see a person eating spaghetti in front of you with a “zzz…” sound and feel “I don’t like it…” In this case, you may understand that the physical phenomenon (Activating: A) of “making a sound” is causing the feeling of “I don’t like it”. In this case, you may understand that the physical phenomenon (Activating: A) of “making noise” is causing the feeling (Consequence: C) of “I don’t like it,” but “Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” does not interpret it that way.
In other words, the following emotion is caused by the intervening belief (Belief : B) between A and C. What is generally called the ABC theory refers to this process.
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There are two types of beliefs in“Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” “rational beliefs” and “irrational beliefs”. “Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” is used to help clients who are suffering from mental disorders due to their irrational beliefs, such as “I should do this,” to accept their beliefs in a sane way.
“Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy” itself is used in counseling, but it is also useful in everyday life and in coaching.
Even if there is a cultural background, there is no logical explanation for why spaghetti should not be eaten with sound, but Japanese soba noodles can be eaten with sound, is there?
The feedback to a manager who is not performing well because of an irrational belief that “managers should take the initiative” is not logically inevitable, can be explained as a dialogue using logic therapy, in which the manager tells the manager that “there is no logical necessity for that way of thinking,” and gives feedback that “by delegating work to subordinates, the ability and motivation of the subordinates will be enhanced”.
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
