Some people interpret the phrase “mercy is not for the benefit of others” to mean that it is not in the person’s best interest to show mercy and that it is better to be cool with others….
What it really means is that “what you do out of natural affection for others will come back to you as a positive thing. In this case, the word “emotion” is not “pity” but “jyo,（kanji）” which might be a more appropriate way to put it.
Then, is it affirmative to engage the other person by saying, “I say this for your sake”?
Rather than a natural “sentiment,” it feels somewhat like an “imposition. Psychologist Adler introduced the concept of “separation of tasks” to the world.
I, as a parent, say to you, “Study!” and I, the parent, say it because I am thinking of you,” he points out, is a misunderstanding on the part of the parent.
It is only the child’s task to study. So the hidden purpose of parents is to “satisfy their own needs” by saying, “My child got into 〇〇 University because of my diligent coaching,” not realizing that there is a need for approval in the background.
Coaching focuses on the client. That is, of course, different from “imposing,” which is a “challenge” felt by the client himself. Therefore, the coaching session comes to life when we encourage focus from the following perspectives.
- Focus on what you want to be in the future, not on your current problematic situation.
- Focus on the problem solved, not on the current problematic situation.
- Focus on past successes, not on the current problematic situation.
- Focus on how things should be, not what they should be.
- Focus on what is going on now, not what should be done.
- Focus on the learnings and insights gained in the process, not on the outcomes.
- Focus on the client’s feelings, not on the outcome.
- Focus on the positive aspects of things, not the negative.
- Focus on the environment in which things are done, not on the way things are done.
コーチング情報局を運営する株式会社コーチビジネス研究所では、企業を対象としたコーチング研修、ビジネスパーソンを対象としたビジネスコーチング、個人の方を対象としたライフコーチングを提供しております。その他、コーチングを学びたい方のためのコーチングスクールの運営、経営者やビジネスリーダー向けにセミナーを開催しています。興味や関心がございましたら、お気軽にご相談・お問い合わせください。
This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
