The literal translation of “assertion” is “statement,” but if understood in its original Japanese, the nuance contained in the original word may not be conveyed, and it has become established that the word is expressed in “katakana”.
The nuance implies that in communication, one expresses one’s thoughts in a respectful, sincere, and cooperative manner with the other party.
It can be understood as expressing one’s opinions, thoughts, and feelings honestly, openly, and in a manner appropriate to the situation, accompanied by an attitude of waiting for the other party to do the same.
Thus, assertion is “OK with me, OK with the other person”.
However, when “expressing and asserting” is examined in terms of the relationship between oneself and the other party, the following three patterns are found to exist in addition to “both parties are OK”.
“I am OK with it, but the other person is not.”
→ Aggressive, self-righteous, controlling assertion.
“I am not OK, but I give priority to the other party’s OK.”
→ The other party is responding with a concordant, passive, or submissive statement.
“I am not OK, other person’s not OK.”
→ They are expressing resignation, pessimism, and nihilism.
“Assertion” is a skill that is organized as a technique, a way of expressing your thoughts and opinions so that the other person can accept them.
If you take it as “depending on how you say it, the other person will do what you want,” you will misunderstand the essence of assertion. Behind the function of assertion, we can see that the three principles of coaching are in place.
- A “two-way” relationship in which both parties are equal.
- “Individualized” without judgment, respecting each person’s different values.
- “On going” that is not ad hoc, but rather based on the premise of continuity.
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
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