Unlike other animals, humans are “multifaceted”. Our highly developed brains allow us to use our minds in different ways depending on the environment. If you have a healthy social sense and are able to relativize yourself, people around you will accept your use of the different aspects of yourself as a natural attitude. That is “self-congruence”.
With this in mind, let us take the example of a reputable small business manager who is said to be “great” and “great to work with” at first impressions and lectures.
Many people who would have joined the company because they empathize with the “ideal way of being” that the manager passionately describes, somehow leave that company. That manager was a person whose attitude manifested itself as “dirty with money,” “not willing to pay his own way even in his private life,” and “telling small lies.
The charm that is only on the surface will eventually lose its plating!
The manager “really wants to make money,” but the block of “it’s not cool to talk about money” gets in the way, and on the surface he says, “It’s evil to take money from weak people”.
On the surface, however, the manager does not realize that these words are only “an ideal after one’s hopes have been fulfilled. The subordinates and colleagues who work with the manager are aware of this. It is the manager himself who is unaware, and the “self-incongruence” is his actual image.
This is why the manager’s constant talk of ideals gradually makes him appear to those around him as a “flimsy” person, and they lose trust and confidence in him, and leave him.
The mental state of a person is stabilized when his “ideal” and “true” selves are brought closer together. People who come into contact with the person can feel comfortable with him or her.
Coaching has the power to make one’s self conform to one’s ideal self!
Self-congruence requires us to look not only at our strengths and advantages, but also at our weaknesses and shortcomings, our habits of thinking, our values, our feelings of inferiority and guilt, and so on. However, even if you try to master that on your own… you can imagine the difficulty.
Coaching is a way to find the background and causes of the gaps in the current situation that have become incongruence, and to get closer to one’s ideal without going too far. Coaching shows its power when you realize that you always stumble over the same things and that people around you are gradually leaving you.
A professional coach is there to support and accompany you so that your inner charm overflows, attracting those around you and bringing you much closer to realizing your dreams.
コーチング情報局を運営する株式会社コーチビジネス研究所では、企業を対象としたコーチング研修、ビジネスパーソンを対象としたビジネスコーチング、個人の方を対象としたライフコーチングを提供しております。その他、コーチングを学びたい方のためのコーチングスクールの運営、経営者やビジネスリーダー向けにセミナーを開催しています。興味や関心がございましたら、お気軽にご相談・お問い合わせください。
This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
