The attitude and posture on the part of the listener has a great influence on the way the other person is willing to talk.
Choose a place and environment that is most comfortable for the other person to talk.
The important thing is to be in a place where confidentiality can be maintained. It is difficult to express your true feelings in a situation where what you say can be heard by the person next to you.
Ask the other person to sit where they want to sit.
Generally speaking, it is easiest to talk at an angle of about 45 degrees. Then, with the feeling of “I am very interested in what you have to say,” you should assume a slightly forward posture and listen with natural eye contact, without crossing your arms. It is common to see people listening to others while typing on a computer, without looking at their subordinates.
Match the pace of the other person.
If someone talks too fast, talk a little too fast; if someone talks too slowly, talk slowly.
Nodding and responding with “aizuchi” or “a nod”.
It is difficult to be listened to without a nod or a nod. “Okay, so?” For example?” What specifically? What else?” It would be nice to be listened to with interest and a smile.
Repeat” in between.
Repetition, also known as parroting or refraining, is when you repeat back what the other person has said. If the other person says, “I had fun,” you say, “You had fun,” or if the other person says, “I’m in pain,” you say, “You’re in pain,” repeating the other person’s expression of emotion is the key.
Confirm by “paraphrasing” and “summarizing.
If you say, “In other words, you mean 00?” Or, to sum it up, do you mean it’s a zero?” Ask confirmation questions such as, “Is that a paraphrase or a summary of what I said? Summarizing not only allows the other person to confirm what you have said, but also makes the other person feel that “this person is taking what I am saying to heart.
When the other person is thinking or talking, wait until they are finished.
When the other person is speaking, listen carefully to the end without interrupting. Also, if the other person seems to be thinking, wait. You may feel uncomfortable with silence, but if this is the case, it is a good idea to say something like, “Take your time and think about it.
These are the basics of listening that will make the other person want to talk.
The important thing, however, is not technique. What is important, however, is to listen with the feeling of supporting the other person as the main character in his or her life. Every person has his or her own life. The most important thing is to relate to each person as if he or she is the hero of his or her own life.
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This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
