People are often caught up in the “must,” the “must” that says “I have to do something. In order to get to the essence of this, coaching aims to free oneself from this “must” and to be able to accept everything in a natural way.
However, if we are overly conscious of this, we will fall into the sprawl of “must” and “should” so that we do not become conscious of “must.
In particular, many people start with a sense of “listening with patience” when learning the skill of listening, and it is difficult to grasp the image of how to acquire the skill.
Unlike counseling, the next skill, questioning, is also important in coaching in order to promote awareness of the person who wishes to improve performance. Therefore, it is easy to drift away from “true listening.
In this article, I will explain the background of this misunderstanding, touching on the relationship between “questioning” and “listening.
When we are consulted by others…
Don’t you ever feel that you have to give your opinion?
Do you feel strongly that you have to give good advice?
Do you feel that if you don’t give your opinion, you will accept the other person’s request?
Do you feel that you, the listener, must find the answer?
These are all “assumptions” or “misunderstandings.
Of course, there are times when you need or want advice, but first you need to listen carefully. For example, in a corporate setting, what is required of a supervisor is to first accept his/her subordinate with a neutral mind, without criticism, evaluation, or negativity.
Suppose there is a new employee who is joking around in front of his or her boss.
The boss on the left feels uncomfortable and angry because he understands that it is not okay for a new employee to play around in front of his boss, saying, It's outrageous for a new employee to make fun of his boss.'' On the other hand, the boss on the other right says,We have a bright new employee, it’s interesting.” He recognizes that he has a cheerful personality, and feels that he is interesting and fun.
From this, what is good or bad lies in the way we perceive it. Perceptions are two sides of the same coin. When it comes to “listening” in coaching, it is first necessary to firmly accept this fact.
コーチング情報局を運営する株式会社コーチビジネス研究所では、企業を対象としたコーチング研修、ビジネスパーソンを対象としたビジネスコーチング、個人の方を対象としたライフコーチングを提供しております。その他、コーチングを学びたい方のためのコーチングスクールの運営、経営者やビジネスリーダー向けにセミナーを開催しています。興味や関心がございましたら、お気軽にご相談・お問い合わせください。
This article was written in Japanese and converted into English using a translation tool. We hope you will forgive us for any inadequacies.
Coach Business Laboratory, Inc., which operates the Coaching Information Bureau, provides coaching training for companies, business coaching for business people, and life coaching for individuals. In addition, we operate a coaching school for those who want to learn coaching and hold seminars for executives and business leaders. If you are interested or have any questions, please feel free to contact us for further information and consultation.
